I am not what one would describe as a “talented” man, but I do possess one time-tested, undeniable skill: Within mere minutes of arriving at a wedding, I can tell you with absolute certainty whether the couple will be divorced within three years.
My record is impeccable, but to be honest, it’s not all that difficult. Here are a couple of helpful tips:
- If I learn that the bride insisted that she and her fiancé have a joint bachelor/bachelorette party, they ain’t making it.
- If the best man spent the thirty minutes prior to the start of the ceremony repeating to the groom, “just leave, and I’ll cover for you,” that’s probably not a great sign.
- If the bride, despite having no discernable singing ability, insists on sitting her new husband in a chair and belting out her favorite song, she’s probably far more interested in getting married than being married, and when the glow of the wedding wears off….look out.
Even those who survive beyond three years aren’t out of the woods, of course; after all, being married is hard. If there’s any advice I can offer young couples contemplating tying the knot, it’s this: the saying goes that life is too short. Well, I’ve got news for you: if you marry the wrong person, life is looong. You’ll wake up every morning, look to the other side of the bed, and find yourself wishing that the whole thing would just speed up and get over with already.
Authored by Tony Nitti, Withum Partner and writer for Forbes.com.