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Archive for August 24th, 2012

Texas judge predicts Longhorns to win 11 games, civil war to erupt in November.

My kid is much more advanced than your kid. Deal with it.

Girl, you know you better watch out. Lauryn Hill in tax trouble.

Man makes impassioned plea for you to cut Mitt Romney some slack.

 

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Texans terrify me. Not in the serial killing/face eating/meth cooking in a WalMart bathroom sort of way Floridians do, but more in a prideful, backwards, “If a Demeecrat wins the election again, I’m shootin’ the next Yankee I see! YEE-HAW!!!” kind of way. [Update: check out this recently comissioned billboard in North Texas]

Don’t get me wrong, much of the country is justifiably dissatisfied with the current state of affairs. But Texans…well, Texans sound like they’re ready to do something about it. And lest you think I’m unfairly stereotyping those in the Lone Star state, consider these words coming out of Texas — not from some random good ol’ boy hopped up on moonshine, but rather from a Lubbock judge of all people.

Kelly Erb Phillips over at Forbes has the details:

In Lubbock County, Texas, there’s talk of a tax increase. The increase is to be 1.7 cents per $100 for the next fiscal year, boosting the rate to 34.6 cents from the current rate of 32.9458 cents. The increases have been touted for a number of reasons. This week, on Fox TV, Lubbock County Judge Tom Head explained why he favors an increase. He wants additional funding to retain attorneys at the county level, expand the sheriff’s deputy staffing to decrease call times and minimize officer fatigue, prevent a civil war…

Whoa….slow down there maestro. I thought I heard you say “civil war?”

In an interview about the potential tax increases, Judge Tom Head explained how he feared that if President Obama were re-elected, he would cede the country to the UN, creating havoc:

“He’s going to try to hand over the sovereignty of the United States to the UN, and what is going to happen when that happens? I’m thinking the worst case scenario. Civil unrest, civil disobedience, civil war maybe. And we’re not just talking a few riots here and demonstrations, we’re talking Lexington, Concord, take up arms and get rid of the guy. Okay. Now what’s going to happen if we do that? If the public decides to do that? He’s going to send in UN troops. I don’t want ‘em in Lubbock County. OK. So I’m going to stand in front of their armored personnel carrier and say ‘You’re not coming in here’. And the sheriff, I’ve already asked him, I said, ‘You gonna back me?’ He said, ‘Yeah, I’ll back you.’ Well, I don’t want a bunch of rookies back there. I want trained, equipped, seasoned veteran officers to back me.”

Again…need I remind you, these words were spoken by a high-ranking, presumably-educated judge. Cue the dude from Billy Madison:

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